"A Warped and Pointless Story" By:Ryan

Narrator- Once upon a time....

(((A Farmer guy(looks about 30) on a lawn mower runs her over. Blood, guts, and body parts fly everywhere. An old Lady comes out and pokes him with her cane.)))

Old Lady: Jonathan Daniel Smith Jr.! What Have I told you! No playing with the mower until your father gets back.

(((Cut to a cemetery. A small tombstone over a 20 year old grave reads: Jonathan Daniel Smith Sr.)))

Old Lady: (talking to the decapitated head of the Narrator) I'm sorry young lady. We'll fix it later.

Farmer Guy- (hick accent) I'm sorry. Wait for me maw!

(((The narrator's ghost appears)))

Narrator's Ghost: As I was saying. Once upon a time there was a little boy who was rich and had never left his house. There was a little girl who had to do everything herself. And a little half boy half girl freak who no one liked. One day they all met. And lived happily ever after, the end.

(((The farmer guy in the mower runs over her ghost.)))

Narrator's ghost: Ha! Can't kill me now! I'm already dead!

(((Out of nowhere a lightning bolt strikes and kills her ghost for good. The Farmer Guy drives off.)))

Executives: Due to the recent events we shall now show uhhhh....something else.

(((Suddenly, the cast of Monster Rancher appears out of nowhere.)))

Genki: Now let's see. What's on the agenda today?

(((Holly pulls out a script and begins to read)))

Holly: Hmmmm....First we wonder around in this forest, complaining for about five minutes. Then we test my magic stone and this time we find a mystery disk but then some badies will come along and try to steal it but we beat them. Let's get started, we only have half an hour, after that Fox will kick us off the air if we're done or not! Suezo, your line.

Suezo: Ahem. (begins reading syllable by syllable, slowly and pausing wrong) Oh, I am so ti-red. Can't we stop and eat and get re-fre-sh-ed.

(((A little snow white bunny hops out of nowhere in front of them)))

Bunny: Hello. I'm Snuggles the bunny!

Tiger: What the blankety blank is that!

Hare: I have no idea! It looks like a Mini but it doesn't have the right features.

Genki: It's a bunny! It's like a Mini but smaller and they usually can't talk.

Tiger: Who cares! Let's just kill it and get on with life!

(((Tiger charges his horns-ready to fire his lightning attack)))

Bunny: Wait! I can help you find the Phoenix! I know where it is! You see I'm a magic bunny from the land of joy, candy and really frilly things!

Mocchi: Where, chi?

Bunny: The Phoenix is-

(((The Farmer Guy on the lawn mower runs over Snuggles the Bunny and bunny body parts fly everywhere. A lightning bolt strikes the remaining pieces, killing snuggles for good. The Farmer Guy drives off with his mother chasing after him)))

Golem: (shocked) Bad man kill bunny.

Suezo: Well, that was unpredictable.

(((Mocchi trips over something)))

Mocchi: Stupid rock, chi!

Genki: Hey, it's a mystery disk!

(((Nothing happens)))

Genki: (tapping his foot) Ahem! I said it's a mystery disk!

(((Still nothing happens)))

Genki: Hey! I said it's a mystery disk!

(((cut to behind the bushes. Captain Evil Hare and the Evil Hares sit in a circle. Captain Evil hare rolls a pair of dice across a Monopoly game board)))

Anonymous Evil Hare: Haha! Jail for you!

Captain Evil Hare: Aww crap!

(((The seven heroes stand there with little veins on their heads)))

Genki: (smashing the game board) I said, Hey, it's a mystery disk!

Captain Evil Hare: (looking at script) oh, that out cue. Okay, Evil Hares, Attack!

(((All Evil Hares form a flashy attack pose)))

Director: Okay, cut to commercial break!

(((Evil Hares practice script while Genki and the others go to Make-up)))

Make-up Lady: Genki, darling, try not to get so hyper. Your ruining your make up job.

Genki: (British accent) I can't help what's in the bloody script. Go gripe to those peeons, you people call writers.

Director: Okay people, breaks over! Back to your places! Let's hurry it up! We still have to fit some others in the story.

Anonymous Evil Hare: Get going, I can't hold this pose for long!

Camera Man: Okay, five, four, three, two, one!

(((All the Evil Hares fall and crash into Genki and Co. as the camera begins to roll)))

Director: Keep going! Fit it in!

(((Genki and the others beat up the Evil Hares and the badies go running away)))

Captain Evil Hare: You haven't seen the last of us! *whispering* Okay, boys, back to the game!

Genki: Badies Rule..er...I mean Monsters Rule...er...No! Goodies Rule!

Holly: Pretend you don't know him.

Suezo: At least this time we didn't have to face Moo!

(((After Suezo says Moo, dramatic music plays. Bummbummbumm! Genki goes over to the Evil Hares)))

Genki: Did you guys play that music?

Captain Evil Hare: (chugging a can of beer) What music?

Genki: Suezo said Moo( the music plays again) that music played.

Holly: Who's palying that?

Mocchi: Freaky, chi!

Tiger: Moo! (music plays)

Tiger: Moo! (music plays)

Tiger: Moo! (music plays)

Tiger: Moo! (music plays)

(((Tiger rolls over laughing as the others stare at him with sweatdrops on their heads. Out of nowhere Ash and Misty run on stage)))

Ash: Oops, wrong stage.

Genki: Baka!

Ash: well, uhhhh....same to you!

Genki: Oh, I'm so scared!

(((Ash leaves but then cast of Digimon runs on)))

Taichi: Uhhh....where are we?

Yamato: Some leader you are!

Genki: Get outta here!

Hare: Hey, Tiger? Bet ya thirty golds that you couldn't stand Pikachu's thunder shock!

Tiger: grrrrr....

(((Tiger chases Hare around but Genki breaks them up)))

Genki: Cut it out! There's only one way to solve this fight!

(((Cut to the Jerry Springer Show stage.)))

Jerry: Okay, tell me the story.

Tiger: He bet I couldn't stand Pikachu's Thunder Shock! I'm ten times as strong as that rat!

Hare: Ha!

(((Tiger charges and both start killing each other)))

Crowd: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry: Security!

(((Security is busy drooling over a Playboy magazine. Out of nowhere, the Farmer Guy on his lawn mower comes and runs over Jerry and the audience.)))

Genki: Oh, well. Back to the story.

(((Moo appears)))

Golem: Moo!

(((The mysterious music plays)))

Genki: Who the heck is playing that?!

Tiger: Moo! (music plays)

Tiger: Moo! (music plays)

Tiger: Moo! (music plays)

Tiger: ahahaha! I love that! Moo! (music plays) ahahahaha!

Moo: I am Moo!

(((music plays, everyone looks around for a pianist except for Tiger who is too busy laughing)))

Moo: I have come for the my ancient body.

Genki: We don't have it.

Moo: (looking at script) Oh, sorry wrong place! Heheh! See ya!

Genki: Okay, can we finish the episode.

Holly: Hey, I think I found the Phoenix! Oh, wait that's just my imagination.

Farmer Guy: Oh, you want the Phoenix! I know where he is! He's-

(((A gear on his mower slips and it runs over him. A Lightning bolt strikes his body so he can't return)))

Genki: Whoever keeps doing that, then stop!

Tiger: Moo!

(((There is a long pause and then the music plays)))

Tiger: I still got it! Ahahaha! I love that!

Fox Executives: Okay, times up. Move on to the Power Rangers!

Genki: grrrr....huh? heheheh!

(((The Power Rangers come on screen. Suddenly out of nowhere, Genki on the Farmer Guy's mower, runs over the Power Rangers. He waves his hand and the lightning bolt strikes them.)))

Genki: While I'm at it....

(((Cut to Barney and the Telitubbies)))

Barney: i wuv you, you wuv me....

Gay Telitubbie: I'm Gay!

(((Genki runs them over and the lightning bolt hits them)))

Tiger: Moo! (music plays) ahahahaha!

(((Men in white coats come take Tiger away in a straight jacket)))

Genki: (Going insane) I'll kill you all! Then Monster Rancher will be the only show on tv! Mwahahahaha!

(((Men in white coats come back and take Genki away in a straight jacket and shackles. Out of nowhere a lightning bolt hits Mocchi)))

Holly: Oh, my god, they killed Mocchi!

Hare: You @#%*&!

(((Trix rabbit appears with a stolen box of Trix)))

Golem: (grabs box and gives it to an imprisoned Genki) Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!

Narrator from the Powerpuff Girls: And so once again the day is saved thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

Real Narrator: And they lived happily ever after....

({[Well? What’d you think? This was done for no real reason other than just to be doing it. Don’t know where I got the idea. Be thankful I ended it here. I was about to add Bill Clinton, the Grinch, and maybe the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future…even though I don’t celebrate holidays. Tell me what you think, please! My address is mandakaye@twave.net.

Ja ne,