Yet Another Warped and Pointless Story: The Finale

by: Ryan


((Ryan walks onto stage))

Ryan: This is the finale of A Warped and Pointless Story. ((hears cheering)) Very funny. The story already had a sequel, I thought, why not make it a trilogy. ((ducks a barrage of rotten food)) So please enjoy! ((gets hit with a tomato))

Oh yeah,

(()) - Double parenthesis means an action is taking place
: - A colon after something means someone is talking
* - asterisks around something represent my thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own and am not making any money off of Monster Rancher, The Got Milk people, Magical Princess Natural Lychee (Nadesico), Washu (or the Tenchi Muyo franchise), Britney Spears, Cybersix, Fox Entertainment, or Invader Zim.


************** ((Moochi is on stage. His eyes are red and he has this really freaky smile on his face))

Moochi: MWAHAHAHAHA! Iíll teach them to make me into a cute, adorable, little weakling and make me best friends with that peppy idiot! ((Starts throwing bricks at people))

((Genki appears behind a desk wearing a suit))

Genki: Hello, this is a special report from the Monster Rancher World News Network. *try saying that five times fast* We have just received word that Moochi, the supposed lovable monster of the Monster Rancher TV Show, has gone insane and is throwing bricks at people. All residents are urged to horde food and water until this attack is over. He will throw bricks at anyone at anytime. The bricks themselves look the one that is flying towards me now.

((Genki gets hit with a brick and falls unconscious))

((Genki gets up for a second and says

Genki: and now a word from or sponsors.

He falls unconscious again))

Commercial Narrator: Milk...its good for you. Bricks...theyíre not. Got Brick?

((We see Golem, Hare, Suezo, and Tiger on a couch in a beaten up old trailer, sweat-dropping at the commercial))

Suezo: Change the channel Golem.

Tiger: Lock the doors, Moochi is going to kill us!!! AHHHH!

Suezo: And your supposed to be the tough guy.

Tiger: Thatís only on the tv show. I have feelings to ya know! ((starts to cry))

((Hare hugs Tiger))

Hare: Donít cry. We love you Tiger. ((Tiger stops crying while Suezo and Golem sweat-drop))

Hare: Give us a smile. ((Tiger smiles)) There all better!

Golem: A little out of character, ne?

Suezo: Seriously.

((Hare frowns, the tv flips to a show called "When Good Grape Jelly Goes Bad"))

Tv show narrator: Mr. Vander was just a regular bachelor. Living in his house and just enjoying his life. He often got up in the middle of the night to get a drink or a snack. Unfortunately, his enjoyable life was brought to an end one night. He had gotten up to get a glass of milk. But as he opened the door and reached down to grab the milk the grape jelly pulled out a gun and shot him. Why? We here at TIN don't know but we do have a fun little dramatic reenactment for you to watch.

((Man walks into badly staged kitchen and opens the refrigerator door. He then reaches for the milk. Guy in oversized jelly jar costume pulls out a gun and shoots him))

Interviewer: What do you mean the gun was accidentally loaded? Oh! Uhhhh...sorry folks we have to go....due to...technical difficulties.

((Show ends and Hare grins evilly))

Hare: You know Suezo, I think your right. Why donít we lock the doors? Would you be so kind?

Suezo: ((smiling)) Sure!

Hare: uhhhÖ.while your up would you make me a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich?

Suezo: ((locking doors and windows)) Sure

((Suezo opens the refrigerator door and the grape jelly shoots him. Golem and Tiger sweat-drop while Hare laughs evilly))

Tiger: ((gets teary eyed at Hare)) You killed Suezo.

Hare: ((starts to cry)) Iím sorry! Donít hate me!

((Hare and Tiger hug and cry while Golem pretends not to know them. Golem changes the channel.))

TV: Now, back to the Energetic dude and the Girl named after a plant.

((Holly and Genki are on the tv. Itís a Soap Opera))

Holly: I thought you loved me, Genki!

Genki: I do!

Holly: Then kiss me already!

Genki: Sorry! I have to keep our viewers waiting with annoyingly long, overly dramatic, and badly acted episodes, with absolutely no plot, before I can even consider doing that.

((Golem flips through the channels but couldnít find anything to watch so he turns off the TV))

Golem: Golem going to go to garden.

Hare: Itís too dangerous. Moochi is out there throwing bricks at people and the grape jelly could be outside! This shabby trailer, thatís about to cave in on us, will protect us.

Tiger: Donít worry Iíll protect you! ((Unzips his fur to reveal a small pink-haired girl)) For I am Magical Princess Natural Lychee!!!

Hare: ((sweatdrops)) Oh please! If your Natural Lychee then Iím Little Washu!

((Hare is engulfed in a puff of smoke, as it clears Washu is standing in his place))

Washu/Hare: That was unexpected! Iím the greatest scientific guenius in the entire universe!

((Washu A and Washu B appear on her/his shoulders))

Washu A: Yay! Washu, you are the greatest!

Washu B: Washu is the greatest guenius of all time.

Lychee/Tiger: Washu your a hermaphrodite!

Washu/Hare: Whatís that supposed to mean?

Lychee/Tiger: You were a guy just a second ago.

Washu/Hare: So were you!

Wahsu/Hare: There is only one way to settle this!

Lychee/Tiger and Washu/Hare: Thumb War!!!!!!!!

((Both carry out an extensive battle and act like itís a real war while Golem slips out the back door))

((A Fox Executive walks in, both Tiger and Hare poof back to their original forms, Golem walks back in, Suezo comes back to life, Moochi throws a brick at some dude))

Fox Exec: We cancelled your show but we want you to endorse us anyway. Weíll pay you all a grand total of nothing to come on during a commercial break and say "Fox is the Greatest Network Ever, and they didnít force us to say this while at gun point." ((pulls out a gun)) Now sign the paper!

((They follow him out and to his van. Inside is the cast of Cybersix))

Tiger: Force you too?

Jose: Yeah.

Tiger: Think theyíll actually shoot us.

Jullian: Yeah.

Tiger: Is that all you people can say?

Cybersix and Lucas: Yeah.

Ryan: ((looks at clock)) Itís only 2:21 AM and Iím running out of plot.

Suezo: This thing never had plot in the first place!

((They are forced into the Fox Corporations building at gunpoint. They go to a stage and get ready to go on live))

((music starts to play))

Jose: *I love Jose!!!* Is that who I think it is?!

Hare: Ahhhhh!!! Britney Spears is in the ceiling!!! *inside joke*

((The Fox building bursts into flames. Everyone runs out *donít ask me how*))

((The police arrest Britney Spears for her music setting the building on fire))

B.S.: But Officer, the Leprechauns told me to!

Golem: We go home now.

((the monsters get into a car and drive away with the carís owner chasing them and screaming obscenities))

Suezo: Whoís that guy?

Hare: Some idiot.

((Holly and Genki are driving drunk the wrong way down a one way street))

Genki: How did we get in this anyway?

Holly: The writer is an idiot with no life whatsoever so she thought sheíd have fun by putting us in a ridiculous situation. *Yes, Iím a girl!*

Genki: oh. Hey, is that Dolem? *intentionally mispelled*

Holly: Yeah!

((Both wave drunkenly at Golem and laugh))

Holly: Is that a telephone pole were barreling towards?

Genki: ((squints)) I think so.

((They smash into the pole, a police officer drives up))

Holly: No Ostifer Iím not drink. ((more intentional misspellings and thanks Sage!))

Officer: Sure your not. Alright boys, take Ďem away.

Meanwhile...

((Golem and Co. are driving down the road when a bumble bee hits the car and it explodes. *Invader Zim reference*))

Ryan: So with the monsters dead and Holly and Genki in juvie Moo conquered the world and then drank tea. Then he was thrown in jail because he forgot he hated tea and executed anyone who drank it. He was beheaded and Genki and Holly rotted in jail. Nice ending, huh? I have a feeling I forgot something. ((Gets hit with a brick))

Ryan: Oh yeah. ((kills Moochi))

Narrator Guy: Ryan and Evil Mr. Teddy went on to conquer the world with MMF and the titanium fish submarine. N. flew in his paper jet and Skitzo made Japan the capital. Finally, Al the anit-christ killed everyone with his cardboard meat cleaver. He met pac-manís brother , Unpac-man, and killed him too. Then Monster Rancher started all over again for no reason whatsoever. *LOL, yet another inside joke*

The End...we hope...


Ryan: I didnít intend for this to offend anyone. I was just playing around. If it resembles your story, sorry but itís a coincidence. The Story about Mr. Vander was my original story or at least part of my story called When Pizza Boxes Attack and other stories. It's at Fanfiction.Net Give me feedback! Mandakaye@twave.net Thanks!